Forgiveness sucks
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner is you”
Yeah yeah yeah. And yes you are right! And yes this is true. This is what forgiveness is about and I do enjoy reading these quotes but come on! When you are in the midst of being angry or frustrated it is so hard to find forgiveness, right? When you see the other person doesn’t show the slightest form of remorse, no self-reflection and all you can feel is frustration!
How come I couldn’t find that forgiveness button for a particular person for a long time? Or even harder, this particular button to forgive myself?
I’ve waited and waited and hoped I would get to see this light of forgiveness. This pop-up of forgiveness or the pill that would solve it all one day. In whatever shape or form you or, in this case, I desperately preferred.
And guess what? It did show up. It did show up! Not through the mail, not on my doorstep, not through anything I signed up for. It came and got delivered by going through some steps. First by going through whatever happened, recognising, acknowledging it, by sitting with it. Accepting that you cannot change the past and determining whether or not you will forgive. Bij repairing and learning from the past and then make the conscious decision to forgive.
To forgive and then to let go. Experiencing or allowing forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Never for anyone else. And by doing so this frustrating feeling of not being able to forgive myself or others quietly slipped away.
Forgiveness puts the final seal on what happened that hurt you. You will still remember what happened, but you will no longer be bound by it. Having worked through the feelings and learned what you need to do to strengthen your boundaries or get your needs met, you are better able to take care of yourself in the future. Forgiving the other person is a wonderful way to honour yourself. It affirms to the universe that you deserve to be happy.
So sit with it, look at it from different angles, work it out and forgive. It’s hard and it sucks sometimes. But do it for yourself. Just today.
Cheers to forgiveness. Cheers to the most liberating feeling in the world!